A few weeks ago, Starbucks closed its shops across America for a half day of training. In a fast paced Web 2.0 world, you can't forget your edge, especially quality control on the foam for those double non-fat frappuccinos. Now it seems that Chrysler is getting in on the espresso train to temporary closures.
Bob "keep those shareholders guessing" Nardelli, formerly CEO of Home Depot, now gracing Chysler with his portly presence, has outdone Starbucks by 13 days and 20 hours, announcing a voluntary two week shutdown of auto plants around the nation, coming this summer.
Free vacation for employees? Not quite, at least from the wording, as he has special instructions for those workers who don't want to take this time off. Personnel, he writes, "who have already used their earned vacation days, have insufficient earned vacation for the year or are otherwise committed to non cancelable vacation plans during other time periods should work with their local management to make alternative arrangements."
While it doesn't sound totally grim, this note was written by the same guy who, at the annual Home Depot shareholder's meeting in 2006, choreographed one of the most miserable management showings in corporate history. Asking his board of directors not to attend, he monopolized the entire show. Standing alone on stage, with a timer to minimize dialogue, Nardelli then proceeded to stonewall questions from Home Depot's investors, who by the rules of capitalism are supposedly the genuine owners of the company. Given the meeting came the same year the stock was taking a nose dive while its chief competitor, Lowes, was rising by double digits, you could call him gutsy. Or totally incompetent. The New York Time's Joseph Nocera wrote a brilliantly scathing piece about the event titled The Board Wore Chicken Suits.
Nardelli's memo comes the same day the Wall Street Journal reports that "according to the majority of economists in the latest Wall Street Journal economic-forecasting survey" America is definitely in a recession. Few people would call Nardelli a model of inspired corporate leadership.But let's hope that his... let's call it casual... manner of guidance isn't part of a trend in top-down officiated "slow downs." While I am no cheerleader for a 24/7, always-on world, it's spooky when the business leaders who have traditionally stressed "more, faster, better productivity" suddenly go all zen on us.
Then again, who would have expected the respected crusader Elliot Spitzer would be so self-destructive as he proved in his recently revealed prostitution escapades. While Spitzer proved true the reporter's maxim "follow the money," between him and these shutdowns, it's becoming a upside down, confusing world.
Granted, it may be apples and oranges to compare Starbucks, Chrysler, and Elliot Spitzer in the same set of thoughts. Or just loopy. Starbucks' temporary closure was a branding effort designed to impress employees and customers that it actually had values worth nurturing, namely getting the coffee right. Even if it wasn't highly successful on the PR front, and even if it did cost the company a lotta lattes, hey, no guts no glory. Nardelli's memo to Chrysler's workers sounds a bit deeper, like totally retooling corporate strategy or operations. And Spitzer, well let's just say that he, his poor wife and family, indeed the entire state of New York, all of them could have used a temporary closing of certain of his operations. Or a way different strategy. But these are wacky times. And I guess that's my point.
When after months of obvious signs about deep troubles, only now economists are coming to agreement that things are a mess, it's harder and harder to know who knows what they're doing. In that sense, maybe taking breathers isn't a bad thing to do. Perhaps the next thing we know Jack Welch will be suggesting that the best thing he's learned from retirement is the value of a great afternoon nap. George Bush, at least in between periodic bouts of lofty speeches, seems to have been a proponent of perpetual sleep since he took office.
So let's get with the program. Larry Kudlow, I invite you to lead a national charge for a banker's hours work week. Jim Cramer, we love when you go apoleptic, and your great "don't sell" advice on Bear Stearnes,how about a big booh-yaa for a return to the three martini lunch? Let's re-imagine it for the times today, whether you're a big time manager, a high school social studies teacher, or... even just hold a valid driver's license and maybe something like a current subscription to Netflex, a full meal of gin and olives for you all. Okay, cosmos for the soccer moms or dads who need their daily shot of vitamin C.
Unfortunately, I doubt that will give us what we need right now, namely traction. A commitment to a vision of where the economy needs to go. And the will to go there. I guess that's why temporary closures seem... well, a sorry admission that such vision doesn't currently exist. That said, as anyone who has lived through the 1970s knows, dismal as the economy got, it catalyzed some wonderful things, beyond heels for men and goofy dance moves. While that's a subject for a different rant, let's just say that many populations are best when confronting challenges directly. And whether it's Chrysler temporarily closing its plants, or Elliot Spitzer closing off his better judgment, perhaps the hard times will yield much better thinking. About priorities. About what is valued. Even just about learning how to make a good cup of coffee without it being for p.r. value.
Jonathan Field
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